Category: Dating and Relationships
i know it isn't even quite november yet, but i ahve been thinking, and cannot decide what to buy my boyfriend for christmas. i have never bought for any man apart from my stepdad and brothers, so i am completely at a loss. and because my boyfriend is blind, i am having even more difficulty thinking of something, and he is one of those people who probably wouldn't ask for anything. i am sure someone out there knows what i mean by this, lol, so if any girls have some advice, i'd be greatful. wa do.
Well first off, I'm confused. Why does his being blind make him harder to buy for than anyone else? That doesn't make much sense to me. Think of how you'd choose a gift for anyone else, and apply the same ideas here. What are his interests? Does he have a cologne he likes to wear? Does he have certain technology he uses that you could get him accessories to? (For example, iTunes gift card if he uses an i device.) Music he likes? Just ideas.
his being blind is difficult because ive only bought for sighted guys, my brothers being an example. and those ideas of yours are good, and i thank you.
I'm not sure why that would make a difference though. As far as a card goes you could find him a Braille one, or if you know how to write Braille you could write him one yourself. Most guys aren't picky either. Common sense would tell you he has no reason to have something like a car, but Alicia's suggestion was legit. Assuming you know the guy well think of his interests. Maybe think of his personality. Don't try to get him something based off of his characteristics like being blind.
That's kind of like saying, well what can I get for a white guy--I've only gotten things for black guys thus far.
Sighted or blind, that shouldnt' intimidate you or make your purchasing dilemma more difficult. If anything, I should think you know your boyfriend more intimately than your brothers or stepfather, so you're more likely to know what he'd enjoy. As the person above stated, the most important aspect of gift-giving is to focus on the receivers interests. We probably cant' give more specific examples because we dont' know your boyfriend--only you know what he'd like.
If you want to buy him a unique gift, then just type in unique gifts into google and that might bring up places where unique gifts can be baught. If you want something more generic, then just focus on what he already has and what you can add to it.
My partner loves guitars, for instance. He's a professional guitarist, so he has almost everything he needs in associating with the guitar. But I found a pack of hand-made picks made of rare glass and thought, well this is something interesting, and he doesnt' have picks like this. So I got them for him once, and they were guaranteed to be well received.
So try to be creative, but dont' over think it. If this person really means a lot to you and you know him well, you'll find a great gift with not too much effort.
actually i was not going to get him something based on his blindness, i have just bought more things for people that require vision. don't get it twisted.
again, why does vision factor into this?
also, if your boyfriend knows about the site, you might wanna think twice about posting similar topics, in the future. just a thought.
I saw you said for girls, but I asked you if I could post.
His blindness might be exactly why you pick a specific thing.
Example, a sighted person would have no use of a new cane, slate, braille calendar, talking watch, or other such item that talks.
After these specialized items, sighted guys and blind buys are just guys.
If your brothers like some things, he'd probably like them just as well.
How longyou've known him, and how close you are to him, meaning, is he local, would be a deciding factor in what I might purchase.
How much money you've got to waste matters as well.
If you buy a guy an expensive gift you've only been dating say a few months, and right after the holidays, he breaks up with you, could you afford that gift no matter your relationship status? Were you spending to much to make him happy, impress him, and if he broke up, it make you mad, because you would have gotten him socks if you knew? Smile.
For me cost is not important.A girl can take me out for a good beer, or give me a gift card to such a place, Star Bucks, or the Micro beer hall, and make me totally happy. $5 bucks.
She'd totally waste her money buying me say a diamond ring, or expensive scents. I'd not wear either.
I like products made of real stuff, leather, wool, and I like things for my house.
Take me for a good meal, or just make it for me. I've already got all the expensive toys I want, so she'd waste money there too. Lol
A good pair or shoes, running or walking.
Jeans, a warm sweater, sweat shirt turns me on. Oh, and these socks. Yes, good socks. I'm serious.
I sympathize with how difficult it can be to buy a really good gift for a partner; no matter how well you know him, it can still be tough to find just the right thing. I can also see why vision would factor into it a bit, though I wouldn't let that worry you too much if I were you. Sister Dawn has already mentioned most of my ideas, so all I'll say is this: my general rule when it comes to choosing gifts is, try and find him something he wouldn't get for himself. Something fun, or interesting, or even novel; take a risk if you're not entirely sure, chances are he'll love it even if it's a risky choice. There's absolutely nothing wrong with getting him something he needs or wants and hasn't gotten around to buying for himself yet, but I've found that it's more fun to think outside of the box--hard as that can be--and find something he wouldn't have picked up for himself. I hope this is even a little bit helpful.
M
Why not get him a DVD copy if a film he likes or perhaps a subscription to Audible or iTunes?
I got Ed_G Lay Miz and Cloud Atlas for his birthday and have some ideas on other audio type things for Christmas... can't go into detail here, as he may read this thread, but if you in-box me, I can explain.
I agree about brailling a card for him. If you've got a frame and stylus, you should be able to work something out.
Other things you could get are:
cuff links or a tie tack/tie bar... I got Ed a pair of Mr. Men cuff links for our first Valentines Day as a couple. He wears them now and again when we go out for fancy occasions
a nicer article of clothing
Cologne
tickets to a sporting event... Ed loves listening to soccer on the radio and has been to see his home town team play... when he came to visit me for my birthday last year before we were married, I took him to see a Vancouver Giants hockey game (Canucks tickets were too expensive). I was sure to get row 1 seats because although he can't see the players or what they're doing, he could hear the skates, sticks and puck on the ice and his hockey crazed fiancée cat calling and banging on the plexiglass whenever the players were scrimmaging for the puck in front of us
does Your Fellow have a hobby of some sort? Perhaps something to do with that
do you know how to knit or sew? Perhaps make something for him?
That's all I can think of at the moment... I'm in a similar boat as you, as I'm trying to find stuff for Ed for both our first wedding anniversary (in just over 2 weeks) and for Christmas.
A fine bottle of Scotch or his fav hard liquor never hurts. Lol I agree with most suggestions. Maybe it's an age thing, but most guys I know don't really like getting clothes for Christmas unless it's a leather jacket or something.
Just adding to the list of good suggestions already given. Hmm or maybe a new pocket knife, just make sure it's a decent one. You can ask one of us dogs here on the Zone and we'll help. I'm offering my advice on that front if you want.
Oh man, I love buying presents for people. I think i'd be a professional shopper if I could. What are some of his interests? What's he like? What do yall like to do together? If I had more info about him, I could probably come up with some ideas. Everyone says I've a great gift giver.
Let's just assume you don't know him as well as we have been thinking. You don't have to say how long you've been dating him if you don't want to. Firstly, don't get something expensive especially if you are newly dating. I've made this mistake when I was younger, buying a girl something expensive to impress her, only to be disappointed when things didn't work out and it hurt me financially. Secondly, you still have time to ask questions to get to know him more. It isn't even Halloween yet so you've got a little over two months. Take advantage of this time. But if you feel pressured because, say, you don't know what your budget will be like closer to Christmas, just get him something small, and get him something that you know every guy could vmt to use.
Oooooo, I've been there before, I'm ashamed to say. I've baught a boyfriend expensive gifts just before we went our separate ways, and, call me callous but I was pissed. Sure, you can say a gift is a gift is a gift, and you should forget about it once it's been given, but I got the guy a playstation 3 when it first came out, when I barely had any money to spare for my own crap. That's upwords of five hundred dollars,and amazon is still sending me recommended purchases based on that thing that I have no interest in whatsoever. lol And that's on top of giving him a tarrabyte external hard drive and paying for his plane tickets to visit me and back home. Ummm. Can you say I'd been taken for a ride? I think so. hahahahahahahaha
I can laugh about it today, but man was I pissed for the longest time. Just never put yourself in my shoes. lol.
See! Listen to Forereel and miss Writer. If you've got money to waste?
I've never done that. I buy what I want to buy even if she leaves tomorrow. I buy what I can afford even after a long time as well.
Okay, and you can say I'm shallow too, but after I've dated someone for a while, I tend to buy what she buys me, in status if she is equally able. I also do what I want, to do if she has been tight fisted, but won't buy her things she oohs and aahs over if she hasn't been good to meeven if I've got the cash to waste.
Now about that ride!
Domestic, if I tell you more about me?
Lol. Only if you give me some money to buy the gifts too. lol
Hahahaha,
We're laughing, but tell you something. That same exboyfriend I wrote of earlier wanted to buy me a christmas gift with my own credit card. lol. Claimed he didnt' have the money, and that now that we're together, what's mine is his and what's his is mine, so forth...So, he says, I'll need your credit card number, the expiration date and the pin, please.
Right you are, sucker.
Goodness, I should have split right after that particular phone call...I blame my naive nature from back then on my young age. lol.
Wow Bernadetta. Now I feel old: No man even a creeper would have begged a woman like that when I was younger and dating. Women have done this to us for years, in terms of sayig "What's yours is mine," all of that, and rifling through the guy's pockets / wallet. Many of us men were bred and conditioned to accept this, but for a man to actually try the same trick? There's no societal support for it. But you certainly have my sympathies.
Only thing I will say is, cut yourself a bit of slack will ya? I mean, people way older than you were then have lost houses, land, credit cards and the works because of the same. You may well have learned from it, yes, but you were duped period end of story. The fault is really not with the duped.
Just had to say that part: can't really stomach blaming the victim here. If you ewre actually naïve, and not just taken off guard by the unusual situation that is, then he knew it and maybe targeted. Because no man could do this and have any self-respect. I knew plenty of losers growing up and they didn't even do this. My personal opinion is you couldn't have known or expected it, and it merely took you off guard. This is how a lot of scams are effected.
Going dutch on things or splitting costs is different. That's been done since at least the Equal Rights Amendment of the early 1980s, but this is not any of that.
I wish we were there then, and as enlighted as we are now, so my advice would have been to you then to not make the mistakes we men always do: to suck it up and deal and let the other walk all over. Instead I would suggest you go to Small Claims and try to get it back. I'm not generally in favor of the anti-male bias of our court system, hell I'm not in favor of any bias at all really. But in this case, if that worked in your favor, I would say "good". Because it sounds like somebody who wants to piggyback on your good credit and use it, spoiling what you worked so hard for. Which is harder for young people now than it was for us.
But Leo, usually women want the credit card number so you can buy them a gift, not so they can buy you one?
Next, it is usually the man's money they are living on anyway, so....
Writer, would you please explain gift giving to Domestic? Lol
You're right, Wayne. Typically men are the payers, even now. Equality has not really equaled that ratio out, even though men under 30 are earning less than women under 30. That earning is not a problem, it is merely that the responsibility should go to the highest income earner.
I happen to be that in my house, which is kind of a double edged sword: what the Chick does for a living she deserves to make considerable more than I do. Her efforts result in people's life being forever altered for the better, while mine merely feeds the corporate machine and work I do today is meaningless to most people in six months. I'm not dissing on myself, just being honest and not to proud to admit it.
But that being said, you hit on something else: I think he deliberately set her up, asking for her credit card so that he could buy her a gift. I've known many women who do this, because they by society and culture have all the rights to all the finances of the man they live with, so when one of them does it, they're just going with the flow. But for this guy to do it, seems like a setup situation to me.
Only now are the young men wising up and not giving her free reign with his cards anymore - something that probably takes a lot of effort to break your breeding and conditioning to do.
But this dude knew exactly what he was doing, in my opinion. Was trying to get her off guard so he could then use that info later, buy himself a few extras above and beyond. Just a wild-ass guess, perhaps the wild ass being the important part. Maybe things have changed enough that I am far outa the park. At any rate, I hope she gets it back. The court system supports a woman getting it back. So she shouldn't copy us dogs and suck it up and deal like we've always done.
Oh, leo, I never gave him the number. lol. I just said I was stupid to have stayed in that relationship beyond that incident.
He tried to dupe me in that sense, and in that particular instance I didn't' give in. but he did dupe me in other ways--I almost failed out of college one year because He manipulated me into helping him with his own studies, so much so that I didn't have much time for my own. The guy was a master manipulator and I have to say--a mental case--but regarding the credit card thing, he had the gall to ask because he simply had no boundaries. I dont' know if he even had an idea of how inappropriate that might be--how intrusive it is to ask someone you're just dating for their own personal information, stake a claim in their money, etc.
I've known gold diggers who suck the dough out of their men with premeditation, but they're perfectly sane and so forth. This guy was so out of bounds that you couldn't really call him a gold-digger because at least gold diggers know that they're doing wrong. he was convinced he was entirely in the right.
I'm fortunate enough to be with a man now who respects me, my independence and my property--and what do you know, I'm much more eager to share it all with him because of that. Naturally, because we live together and we have a child, we share expenses, but he never lays claim to my money, nor I to his. If he needs to borrow some cash, he asks. But he always pays it back unless I insist that he doesn't have to.
What I dated before wasn't a man--I dont' even think he's one today to be honest--not to be vengeful, just stating what I gather from observation.
But my point is, I never actually gave him the card number. Although, had I been born a bit bitchier, I'd have tried suing him for the few thousand I spent getting things for him. I'm not that vengeful though, and I like to leave things in the past where they belong, especially nutcases like this dude. Besides, I've watched enough tv judges to know that they don't favor the scenario where the person sues their ex over gifts given in good faith. lol.
Hmm can't say I've watched that many court tv shows. But sounds like it'd be a mercy to just shoot him then. lol
She's right from what I've seen also. The judges seem to put the blame on the plaintith for dating the guy or girl and letting them dictate which I kind of understand, plus some of those people have other issues. But at the same time, it's not as though they walked in to a relationship knowing that this would happen and just not giving a damn. It's a tough situation to be in and depends a lot on the circumstances. I'm glad that you were able to pick yourself up and set your life on track, though. Not everyone does.
Also my experiences are more real life than the TV dramas. I don't know how realistic in real life those TV court shows are. Although Small Claims is very different from Family Court though.
Man, I'm really glad you got out of that financially unscathed. I wish I had been so lucky or so smart. lol I lost about $8000 in the dumb assery of my youth. lol We chicks and our con-men.